15. Andy Shauf - “To You”

As promised Andy Shauf is back. We’re still at the party – only its a little bit later on in the night now. The characters are drunker, and as a result more oblivious and despondent. The night is unraveling and so is everyone’s emotions. The wear of being social is catching up to them and pulling them in ever more unexpected directions.

This scene in particular captures one third of the love triangle that encompasses this album. If it were a real triangle then it would be an isosceles, and this particular relationship would be the hypotenuse. It’s the most far-fetched of the three and therefore the most frail and precarious. We find out that the protagonist is in love with his best friend, and within the peace and stillness of the backyard while out sharing a smoke he finally musters the courage to give his love a voice and speak it into existence. He looks for some sort of acknowledgement – any confirmation of his affection, but his friend refuses to give it to him. He acts oblivious and so overtly masculine that he avoids all attempts at emotional connection and instead deflects with sophomoric humor. As a result, the protagonist is left backpedaling, defending himself and explaining away any sort of vulnerability that might have been revealed.

Its a frail and beautiful moment that’s as upsetting as it is inspiring. You can feel the weight of emotion stuffed within the exchange – the stuttering courage followed by the heartbreaking deflation. It’s so simple, and yet so human all at once. It’s writing at its best, and one of the many reasons why I love this album so very much.